As well as the equivalent of marriage counseling could you find a short course that would tie in with your schedule for self esteem? I say this because I worked my way through a handful of courses all around self esteem (it was simply called "finding myself") and also for anger management (specifically for me). Each short night course, at very little cost, helped the little group look at our own behaviour and reactions, and those of the significant people in our lives. It was all very eye opening. I didn't like what I saw in me when doing the anger management course. I made some changes in my own behaviour and was able to react differently when there was conflict between my husband and myself.

Just a thought as it is something that you could do without your partner if joint counseling is not an option at this stage.

Ultimately, know that just because you have children together does not mean you have to stay together. Yes your kids are important, but so are you.