No matter what is going on in my life, there's this underlying feeling of hopelessness that is always present. I have some big life changes planned, which is scary, but also shines a tiny light at the end of that very long and very dark tunnel. But I don't feel it. All I feel is empty and sad. Will this sense of hopelessness, dread, and suicidal thoughts ever go away?? They've been long time companions and I'm sick of them, but I don't see a way out of this rabbit hole.

Well, that was certainly depressing.