Something that may help with the physical problem of not being aroused before sex is lubricant it can also be a life saver for those who have medications which affects their libido, but if you use condoms make sure the lubricant is water based.

As for your partner thinking it'll all got to be quick try showing him a love scene from a film that is more your speed and then use that as your conversation starter about slowing things down. If you can not find the words try showing him, tie him up and slowly tease him etc.

But most likely thing to work is an honest talk, hope all goes ok for you ��