<font color="brown"> Hey SkyBdark,
Lookie, lookie......font colours!!

Thanks for teaching me!!!
You asked what antidepressant I'm taking. I'm on 45mg of Remeron. After it kicked in, I absolutely knew it was working because it took away my suicidal thoughts. I attempted in June, then was free of suicidal impulses until mid-August. Then they came back and I knew something needed to be done *chemically* for me, or I wasn't going to make it. Began taking Remeron in August, and I've be free of suicidal impulses for about 2 or 3 weeks now. What a relief!!
As for feeling depression trying to break through the Remeron, that's all it is.....just a *feeling* of depression.....not actual thoughts that are making me feel depressed. I don't know how to explain it.
You mentioned to picture a clean slate or sky when the depressive thoughts came. (Again, I'm not having *thoughts*....just a sensation of depression caused by ?????). I think I'm trying to achieve that blank slate by avoiding the depressive feeling. I bury myself in a book and attempt to not even acknowlege the depression below the surface.
I hope you are doing well. You are such a presence on this board. What would we do without you? Take wonderful care of yourself, hun!
Hugs,
Sandy </font>