I sometimes wonder why it has to be so painful to be attached to a therapist. I have no plans to stop seeing my t but I know the day will eventually come when we will terminate. Sometimes I think that this relationship has stopped me developing more intimate relationships but then I look back and see how much the relationships I do have have flourished because of my relationship with t.
I am feeling very sad this week because you are away and it's when you go away I realise I am alone. I sometimes wonder if it's possible to go back in time when I wasn't in therapy and didn't have the awareness I have now, I was somewhat happy then and now I feel so desperately sad. Sometimes we don't understand each other t but most of the time we do and then that's when I fall part because I can never know you outside of our hour a week together and that's when I feel that this is false. I need more from you t, I need real connection. Can anybody relate or am I falling apart here?

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