Can you sleep?

As long as you can sleep I think you should give in and endure the severe emotional pain. Nothing you can do. Just wait and do nothing but trying to sleep. Expect nothing. Don't think about the future, how hopeless it seems. Don't interact with people. Do nothing. Don't care about when you sleep, how long you sleep. If you truly don't care about the future, paradoxically, you wouldn't want to end it. There is no reason for it.

Don't ever think about the past during this.

After all that, you should feel a little better and you might want to just focus on resolving your problems, making changes and plans for the future, but without any emotional reaction, Stoically, practically. Don't care about blame or guilt. You owe it to others not to care about owing anyone. And take your time. Ease it before fighting it, striking it.

Hope this makes sense and might be helpful. You can do this. Overcoming the struggle is rewarding. At least wait for the reward. You may just as well.