Sometimes I think this longing for more time with T is like the fantasy longing for the perfect spouse or job...because say T WAS my friend..I'm not 20 anymore.,I am very busy with work and my horses..I see my friends maybe once every few weeks??? Yes my friends and I have fun together, we go riding, we have deep conversations ....but I actually spend MORE consistent and reliable time with my T than I do with anyone except my spouse. Even my best friend and I don't see each other as reliably as I see my T. So what dies it mean to want her to be my friend??? I want to see her every couple weeks and talk over text a lot?? Go trail riding with her?? Get together for dinner once a month???
When I look at it through the lens of what my actually friendships are like, rather than some fantasy idea of a friendship, I realize that the relationship I have with my T currently is probably more intimate than it would ever be if we were friends...and that tends to make me feel very satisfied and happy right where I am.