Hello BeneathTheSmile: Well... I'm afraid I don't know what causes this. But the experience is familiar... & I'm an old fogey! I struggle with a lot of anger & anxiety plus depression. And, when anything pisses me off (which almost everything does) I just revert back to very old, & unhelpful, ways of dealing with the situation. And then I hate myself afterwards! I always tell myself it will never happen again. But it always does.

For a variety of reasons, which I won't go into, it has occurred to me that I may have some hidden, undiagnosed brain damage from many years ago. Inability to control one's temper can be a symptom of damage to the area of the brain that's in charge of what is sometimes referred to as "executive functions". Perhaps this is just an excuse. But as I think back on some things that happened with me many years ago, it makes a certain amount of sense.

Anyway, I guess the point here is that perhaps in your case this is simply a lack of maturity on your part. Perhaps in some way, over the years, you simply learned that this is the way to get what you want. If so, then it may simply be a matter of developing a new skills set... maybe with the help of a therapist. However if, as time goes by, this continues to be a serious problem for you, it may make some sense to consider the possibility that you have something physical going on too. It's probably not likely. But it's not impossible. I wish you well...