Thank you for all of your replies and I am glad to hear that people can relate but not glad to hear of the pain and suffering it causes. I wish there was an easy way through it and perhaps denying the feelings and attachment would be one way but that in itself is a struggle. I always had attachments to my ts all five of them but with this one it's worse because she actually does care about me and I have never felt a real sense of caring from any of the others. I get confused because some times her caring feels like controlling and of course that gets mixed up with my own mother. My t always encourages me to love myself and to respect myself and it is the hardest thing in the world for me to do but like bay's t she is encouraging my sense of self and trying to make me appreciate myself rather than search approval from others. It is improved but why is my attachment to t still so strong. I know why this week because she is gone away and last week it was because she was so incredibly kind to me, I yearned for her so much after that. She asked why that session was so healing for me and I couldn't tell her because I was so ashamed of these feelings. I made up some stupid excuse about how it was because she didn't get mad at me or retaliate after I sent her that really angry text but I wanted to say it was because you were the kindest that anyone has ever been to me and it stirred up a longing in me and a loss because I never had anybody to care about me.


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