I'm so sorry you feel so miserable. I've asked myself the same questions you've asked, especially how one gets through termination after feeling so close to someone...? I have to have faith that the therapy process will prepare me - that these intense feelings of attachment will gradually lessen to become like a warm and comforting life-long friendship w/o the pain. My T was gone for a week not long ago and I had the worst reaction (think, emergency and hospital). I managed, but it was very painful, so I truly understand where you are coming from. Hang on and talk to your T about the feelings if they get too intense. Sending you sympathetic thoughts and .