Quote:
Originally Posted by PerpetualPain
Hi again. After I asked her for an explanation to why she told me I was good looking she told me she felt it would help my self esteem. I asked her why she got me gifts and she told me that she thought it would be easier for me to open up to her if she showed she was there for me. She then asked me why I was asking these questions and I explained everything back to her. She told me although she is fond of me she does not have a crush on me. It turns out I remind her of her son who died in the army and that is why she is nice to me. She looked extremely sorry and told me that if i am uncomfortable I can see another therapist. I cant believe how wrong i was about the crush thing.
Overall I feel pretty bad and think that I will go ahead in seeing another therapist. Things feel awkward now that i made them that way. I feel so foolish to think someone actually would have had a crush on me. I Feel depressed now that the only person i thought liked me does not actually like me. On the bright side I guess the new therapist will be a lot less confusing and can focus on my actual problems rather than discussing unrelated things. I also think I'll get a male one next time to prevent this sort of confusion. Just shows we're all human, seems both me and my therapist made mistakes.
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I believe, you have every right to switch therapists & I also think, your reasons are legit. I just want to bring up a contrarian POV for the sake of thought. A therapeutic relationship that has no rift or rupture, is not as strong as the one where there is a rupture/issue/awkwardness that has healed. The relationship scar tissue can make for a stronger bond. I do think the therapist made some mistakes & really, I don't think you did, at all. Just bc they reminded you of their son does not mean they don't care for you & your personality. To me, & yes I don't know you, I just have your posts but you seem like a kind, empathetic, certainly good person that deserves love as much as anyone else. Don't let this wipe out your self esteem. They messed up, not you. Absolutely, find a new one. Then again, you liked the relationship up to this point & I really believe it could better your therapeutic relationship & make it stronger. Therapists are professionals, yes, but they are human being obviously too, who are learning just like the rest of us. Betcha they never make this mistake again. I'm sorry it had to be with you. I have a feeling, your therapist cares deeply about you but her own trauma of her son blinded the alliance. Whatever you decide, I think you're making the right choice. Just..weigh everything.