I'm not on any meds anymore, they're no good to me and the side effects are too much. I did the mistake of taking them as a 13, 16, 17 year old when my brain was still developing. Sertagen\Seronil did nothing to me, Citalopram made me even more anxious and desperate and Zoloft made me extremely aggressive and lacking inhibition and I was scared of myself because i couldn't control my impulses and felt i can do everything. I was also addicted to Xanax as a 16-17 yo, often mixed with alcohol and occassional weed. However, i take propranolol from time to time.

Going abroad is impossible, I cannot afford it.

This ocd causes me to procrastinate. I have an exam on Thursday and feel like what if I am or will get psychotic and my chances will be wasted. Loosing my mind is so scary to me because nobody would take care of me, I wouldnt have anywhere to live and would probably end up in my obscure family house which is almost falling apart and some of my distant, mentally ill family members live there in dirt,not taking care of themselves.