Maybe it's more of a wish list of what you really want your husband to be like, to determine if your desires for your H are realistic before you leave....not necessarily in search of someone better. With the list, if some of the things that your H can really change, then why leave.

My husband was incapable of changing the major serious issues I had with him as I realized later that the aspects were truly a part of him & not something that could be changed. Certain ASD traits just are what they are & when they caused serious issues in the marriage there was no hope for improvement especially when H was in denial that there was anything wrong & I was the one who was expected to continue to tolerate the serious proplems that existed. Not knowing what the problem was at the time I left he just claimed that it was his personality & personalities can't change. Well I learned different with my T I had after I left....but then when I realized that ASD had a role in the issues I understood why it wasn't possible for his personality to change & was ever so glad I did leave finally after way too many years....which was why he told me that he thought I would just continue tolerating him for the rest of our lives....after all I tolerated it for 33 years but the cost was too great for me & it was destroying my health when i ended up trapped in the marriage without my career to escape to.

Oh yes, financially responsible...someone who believes in only spending money they have....not living on credit or overdraft charges. When I needed him to handle the finances at the time my depression got really bad, he FAILED miserably which meant we both failed miserably & couldn't handle the situation it caused & my only thought was that suicide was my only way out but I didn't realize that was the reasoning behind those actions at the time because I was told my everyone that I was just overreacting to the loss of my career. No one helped me take that down to a lower level.

So critical to have a mature & responsible partner who is willing to grow up.

Also critical for us to understand how the inter reaction is really effecting our mental health especially is we never really learned how to deal with a dysfunctional partner or get exhausted compensating for them.