I tried really really hard last wk. worked my butt off to make this past weekend spectacular for my 2nd DD big day. I wanted everything perfect!
And it was...I pulled it off Saturday & I was happy in the end.
Then Sunday came & all the voices of doubt & rethinking other people's nuisances & what was said. The context of it.
Then the nasty part came out & it was directly aimed at my kids!
My innocent kinds.
I was horrid & nasty & this part wanted to see them cry & show them how mean I can be!

And I didn't wanto go back & apologize to them. I didn't wanto say sorry mom yelled I didn't mean it. I DID mean to yell! I wanted them to feel the anger inside me & quit using me as a maid & housekeeper.

I suck! I'm a horrible mom & they'll never understand the real me. I don't want them to. I don't even understand me.
Why did everything go so bad?