Hello So leigheas: The Skeezyks is basically where you're headed. I've been on a variety of different med's over the years (mostly antidepressants... but not all.) I've also seen a number the therapists for brief periods. None of the med's ever did much of anything except make me groggy & loosen my lips so that I became willing to talk about things I would never have breathed a word of under normal circumstances. The therapists I tried were all worthless.

Most recently I was on the generic variety of Cymbalta. It was the best AD I took. However, the out-of-pocket cost skyrocketed when I was obliged to change health insurers. So I decided to get off of it. I don't see a therapist. I technically still have a pdoc. But I've decided to only see him once a year at this point, just to keep my foot in the door so to speak, in case things take a real turn for the worse. So, as a result, I'm just gutting it out one day at a time. Some days go pretty well. Others make me wonder if maybe things have in fact taken that "turn-for-the-worse" I mentioned above.

I'm also just done with talking about my issues. It never did one bit of good. In fact, the only thing it did do was to leave me feeling exposed & foolish. I've reached a point where I just feel like things are what they are. Nothing is going to change. I've tied a knot in the end of my rope & I'm just hanging on...

One could certainly say that this is all just depression talking. And perhaps they'd be right. I don't know. All I have is my own experience to go by. And my own experience tells me that the med's are a waste & any therapists I've seen were useless. There's no point in kicking a dead horse, as the saying goes.

Yes, you (and I) may be just falling back into previous unhealthy patterns... isolating, not seeking help, coasting...) However, at least in my case, I don't know what the alternative is. Perhaps you don't either. I try to be sensitive to how my behavior affects the one other person in my life at this point... my spouse. I've told her that she should tell me if it gets to the point where I'm simply becoming too difficult to live with. I don't know if she will. (I do think it's important to have someone who can provide some objective feedback with regard to how one is doing.) If she does, I'll hold my nose & dive back into the mental health morass...

I wish you well...