Hello Ubicaritasetamor
Whatever the incident was with the person that you don't want to talk about that set off the severe anxiety,I think you do need to look at that and get help to emotionally resolve it.
It is that caused your severe depression I think and feelings of suicide.Also finishing college and not having a job can send you into a spiral of despair.Please do not hurt yourself, you sound like a lovely man with everything going for him and all to live for.Your dream of making it to professional school isn't over and is still obtainable.God loves you and you'd never be a disappointment to him but it is true he wants you to live not to destroy yourself.Try not to worry about the future,just take every day as it comes.Consider sharing with your one friend that you are feeling this way,he may be uncomfortable but he may also be able to understand and want to and be able to help.Or consider speaking to a doctor,this may be clinical depression or it may be something a counselor can help you with.Don't give up,it sounds to me too that you never got over the grief from losing your father so I suggest bereavement counselling too!
You are in my thoughts and prayers.I hope this clears up real soon.Marylinx