I totally agree! I didn't experience euphoric mania until I was 25 but when I did I couldn't get enough! I LOVE the energy, the socialbility, the creativity, the motivation...at my baseline I am happy but very low energy and low motivation. I love mania. I would manipulate meds to make me manic, like take an AD with no stabilizer.

But alas, it comes at too high a cost. My last major manic episode (two years ago) ended with me believing people could read my mind and had me a crying terrified mess. Since then I've remained med compliant because I never want to go through that again. And yeah, sometimes I miss it, but I do enjoy being stable. I can't say I'll never go off my meds again but I won't for the foreseeable future.