thank you both. yeah... i think... that potentially... this could be the one. just need some time to figure... we both have baggage attached, i think. something i have some optimism about is that he is in therapy, however, and he hasn't hesitated to have couples therapy before when his last relationship started to go downhill. sounds like he is still hurting a bit over his last relationship (broke up a couple years back but i think they were together for quite a while). seems like he has a fairly good understanding of what happened with respect to that, though, and i actually have a couple indicators of stuff that we would need to be careful with (ie me making sure i have my own direction and purpose and making sure i don't become aimless and dissatisfied / unhappy with whatever it is that i'm doing in life. for example... i know i'll never be happy being housewife / homemaker so that simply isn't on the cards).

he is respectful... i think he does have some intimacy issues... but then we haven't known each other for very long and so part of it could be about that. i guess if intimacy issues become a problem then it will be off to couples therapy we go lol.

problems are... that he lives all the way over the other side of the world from me :-( and... it is hard to see how we are going to get to live together :-( especially... since it is important to me to do what i'm doing and it is equally important to him to do what he is doing. i really hope... that circumstances don't conspire against us :-(

and... i hope i'm not going to get too clingy. or push him away cause i'm trying not to be too clingy. balance... so hard. so very hard. so very damned hard :-( i'm also worried that... i'll develop fears of intimacy as the relationship progresses. all my intense fears of abandonment stuff... stuff around how physical intimacy (for example) is easiest with relative strangers and next to impossible with life partners. sigh. we will figure it out. cross fingers. touch wood. i hope.

i... haven't really been in a relationship before. i mean... i've been involved with people who i shouldn't have been involved with (so that was unhealthy right from the start). and i've had a couple casual flings. and i've had an 'arrangement' with a friend for a few years. but a proper relationship (that wasn't inappropriate e.g., student - teacher). er... never. and... i haven't really met anybody who i WANTED to have a relationship with... can't believe i've actually met someone. thought... i thought... that i might well be incapable...