I agree with what fayerody said; "I believe that women with issues are attracted to men with issues. Period. "

This is odd coming from me.. Not blaming "childhood".. But thinking how we are raised and our family environment somehow directs our future. I think those of us who were "misplaced" in the family may be destined to repeat their childhood environment in adulthood. They "subconsciously" gravitate to that which is familiar. Either being a "healthy" background or a not so healthy background.

I think those who have been "abused or neglected”, will gravitate to being abused or neglected in relationships. It is what we know. And what we "dream" as being healthy is merely a dream. I say that because nobody wants to be in an abusive relationship or married to a "creep". We are driven to have a better "family life" than we had as children and yet we end up in similar if not the same type of environment we were raised in as children.

I believe that when a child and when one does not connect to a loving, healthy, guiding, structured adult, we tend to repeat all that we know from our "unhealthy" family of origin. The key, I think, is those who were fortunate to have connected with healthy, structured and loving role models; it then seems their relationships when an adult “ tend” to be healthier. Those of us who did not connect with “healthy role models” do not “know” what actually is healthy. That what we are “not” familiar with, we then tend to feel uncomfortable with and/ or “not as good as”. Yet we want what they have, we just don’t seem to know how to get it.

I think the “creeps” the women gravitate to have the same make-up as whoever was the “creep” in their family of origin. And the “creeps” the men gravitate to will also find a “creep” which is similar in their family of origin.

Of course, this is only my “opinion”. Looking back and observing my past, I can see the similarities when growing up. The position I held in the family. The position or role I played in relationships. Sad to say, both being overlooked, controlled, never validated and abused. And “I think” the healthier relationships I was in, I always felt uncomfortable or not as good as or even dirty.

Bottom line. I think I married both my mother and father. Mother being controlling and abusive. Father was passive, yet it is said he had been abusive to my mother. I even think I have my brothers and sister sprinkled in my x husband. I married the whole “damn family” loll… And the outcome was the same as growing up, feeling lost, abused and overlooked, ashamed and misplaced, timid and scared.

Again. this is just my opinion. Thoughts to ponder on, maybe?