I haven't been on here in a while. I've been going to a counselor regularly, I'm on 100 mg of Zoloft, and things have been generally looking up. Only, I'm still having trouble connecting with and relating to people.

There's a guy I've started seeing, for about a month now. And I know I like him. But sometimes, when we're together, I'll start thinking about all of his flaws. He's a little on the heavy side, he has a bit of a lazy eye, he can be socially awkward. And then I begin to doubt if I actually have feelings for him.

It's incredibly frustrating. This thought pattern makes me feel shallow, lonely. I think this is leftover loner behavior from my depression. I worry it will never go away, that I'll never let myself be happy with another person.

Some things I already do: force myself to think of good things when my mind turns negative, try to consciously settle into conversation, share a personal story with him. But at the core, there's almost a repulsion toward him. And this has happened even with guys I found really really attractive, so I don't think it has anything to do with that.

He could be really good for me. Can anyone relate? Or do you have any advice? I'm tired of constantly finding new, inventive ways to isolate myself.