This may seem bizarre but I've had a goofy happy smile on my face reading these comments. Not because I'm laughing or anything nasty, but because I think of tears in therapy as healing. I see it as realisation. So reading this I picture all of you starting to heal just a little bit more with each tear.

I'm a weeper from way back. Always will be. But weeping in therapy. .....that feels like I'm sharing the weight of something. I strongly believe that once something is acknowledged we can begin to learn how to heal.

I've had just 2 different Ts and they are very different. John would sit quietly as I tried to stem the tears. There were always tissues close by but I tend to grab a handful but just scrunch them in my fist. I didn't feel uncomfortable at all. As I became a bit more in control of my breathing through the sobs he would pick out the thread that had triggered the tears and start to follow it.

Now Maggie. .....wow. Maggie has been amazing for me. I'm a touchy feely person and she will hug me as I leave, especially after a weepy session. Then it is a long lingering deep REAL hug. So so needed. It's the kind of hug my mum would give me but she died when I was only 35. We had been apart for all of my teen years too so for those few years I had my mum back, those deep hugs took me back to the secure feeling I had as a little girl before so much went wrong. Maggie knows all this but I don't think that is why she hugs me. It feels instinctive. There are times when she'll just touch my arm or squeeze my hand. She seems to sense when I'm more thoughtful in myself which is when I walk away thinking or mulling something over. A touch then would break into what I'm puzzling on.

There have been just a couple of times when the tears have been so all consuming. .....I mean far more than what I would normally experience. ..... As I've very recently been diagnosed with PTSD which tbh I'm still getting my head around, on these 2 occasions she was concerned that it may have been too much for me to continue experiencing. She said "you don't need to go on if it's too much for you right now" . I felt how much good it was doing to acknowledge what was going on so I said I wanted to continue. On these 2 occasions she sat very quietly and yes had tears in her eyes too. She knows me well that I will simply hold a scrunched tissue and wipe my nose on my sleeve instead. Once the moment is over. ....she takes my hand and gives me a squeeze as though to say "you did well". Then there is always that soothing hug as I leave. I'm so glad I met her. I'm learning so much about how to manage myself now.