Quote:
Originally Posted by oceanmermaid
Hi, A good step is realizing you do repressed them. Sometimes it takes seeing a few different therapist before you find one you can open up with. Even a good friend can be like a therapist. Writing down my feelings over the years has been helpful and the quiet of nature.
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I really appreciate all the advice I have been given. It would not be the first time I have written things down for my therapist. I do that as I have a hard time remembering things when I go in. I really need to find my courage, as this will be my first time actually knowing what I want to talk about there. He usually needs to start us off because of this. And he knows I repress my emotions, but I think it will be a surprise for me to ask to try to reach for them at the moment, as I am scared to feel everything I have hidden for so long. 
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There are so many things wrong with me, and sometimes I believe there is more than what is diagnosed. I fear never healing, being left alone to crawl this heartless, cruel world. I hate myself so much, and sometimes, as much as I hate them, all I really want is a heartfelt hug. Will I ever make it through this thing called life? Or will I drown in the darkest depths of the ocean? Only time can tell. As for now, I just hide and I fear. This is, and will always be my life. 
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