Hello dysphoricspirit: I'm so sorry you are struggling. I have some sense of what you are feeling. I also have no interest in living any longer. I'm sad, frustrated, angry, anxious & just generally worn out. In my case, I'm married & my spouse has no one in the world but me. So I have to keep living for her.

Like you... I function normally (more-or-less...) The fortunate thing for me is that I'm an older person myself & I've aged into my retirement years. So I no longer have to "perform" at work. (Not that I had done so anyway for a long time.) I have no friends, by choice. I'm pretty-much completely solitary at this point.

Yes... it is sort of like purgatory. Every day I wonder how much longer I can keep this up. But every day... I do... I send healing thoughts your way with the hope that you will be able to find deep peace within...