I envision myself doing all of those things, but I just can't. I dream of a day when I will be happy again. I am really trying to get in shape and just be healthy. I think he is just such a bad part of my life now. He truly was my best friend until about 2 years ago. That is around the time that girl came around. I think she brainwashed him. Is that even possible? Just he did a complete 360 and now I truly hate him. I hate how he treats me and I hate how good he is to everyone else. He has told everyone that I am crazy and he tells me that everyone hates me. They don't even know me. They ignore me if I am around, which is a rare occasion. I don't really have many people in my life. I really have no opportunity to really do anything with my life other than working and taking care of the kids. I am really so angry, hurt, and really I feel like I am going to have a mental breakdown.