Quote:
Originally Posted by divine1966
Honestly until you two meet I would try not to get too much involved and I would probably want to meet ASAP. I wouldn't want to spend more than few weeks/a month on talking to someone who might be a bad match in person.
I dated someone long distance, it was 6 hours drive. We've met few weeks after initial conversation and clicked, he drove to my town and stayed in a hotel . After that we made an effort on seeing each every 2-3 weeks. He was a wonderful man, very compatible. Our issue was that we both had teenage kids at home at least half the time and didn't want to get them involved too soon which meant we had to try to see each other when kids were elsewhere as we couldn't have quick dates like just go see a movie due to long drive.
Our schedules with kids and work hours were just not working and causing huge stress. He also had trouble with ex who started to demand full custody because he kept switching weekends around. We just couldn't go on and had to end after few months. It was overall a very sad situation. After that I never wanted long distance. It was just sad.
Saying all that I certainly know people for whom it worked but I would speed up Initial meeting
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The work stress is just eating me alive, to tell you the truth. And I am attached to him, I'll be honest. I like talking to him. But I find it to be stressful and uncertain as well, when I don't need another uncertain thing in my life.
There is no way we can meet any sooner than the middle of June, if that. I have no idea what my schedule is past two weeks from now. Heck, I don't even know in what department I'll be working. He and I are trying to coordinate schedules, he is getting dates together for me, his ex is flexible when it comes to weekends, and I don't have children or any other commitments. And I don't mind traveling. I just wonder how long this can be sustained, and if I'm diving headfirst into a shallow pool. My job is flexible; I can go anywhere, and I can take a travel assignment right in his city, or a few hours away, which pays for my travel and housing. But it'll be a few years before I have the experience which allows me to do this.
I don't want to lose him, and I want to make a go of it. I just don't know how much I have to offer him besides conversation, and how long I can sustain this.