My thing is here lately with t, I've been acting rather impossible and I know it, I just can't seem to stop myself. I realized today (and I wrote this in the paperwork I'm giving her tomorrow) that when I was on that 3 week break last month, I did a lot of thinking about endings, and I think I activated my inner 15 year old again, and she's been the one acting out like this t relationship doesn't mean anything because she's protecting herself from being hurt at the thought of being abandoned again (like when my grandma died). But it DOES mean a lot to me. And I'm afraid that 15 might have pushed her away one time too many.

This is what happens when I think I am in charge of anything, because I don't take responsibility. Or something.