Quote:
Originally Posted by Marilyn2016
My third surgery is coming up, and I'm trying to stay positive about life and the moment. Although, I am usually in pain and not able to move very much. Throw in the mental issues, and it can really be a drag. I feel useless, and I mourn the energetic and able bodied person I used to be. Oh well, I think at times I expect way too much from life. lol.
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I can ID with you a lot. I had a spinal fusion about 16 years ago. It did help but my quality of life went to crap. Couldn't do anything because it didn't cure me. I still have some pain. Probably something I just have to live with for the rest of my life. Always hoping it doesn't get worse.
Lost everything , job , self esteem , and my whole family abandoned me. No one understood what I was going through. And then the depression. Feeling worthless and useless.
And yes there's not a day that goes by where I miss the things that I used to do.
So the only possible way I can move forward is to realize that the life I have now is the life I now have. I battle to stay alive. I try just to be grateful for the days that I could do the things I can't do now. At least I did have some good times. But now I realize that life goes on. And who knows what tomorrow may bring. Acceptance is another thing. I have to accept the way I am now.
Believe me , I empathize with you. Try and do anything possible , no matter how small it may be , to try and break the vicious cycle your now in.
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