I'm glad you are getting some good insights from people in similar circumstances. What stands out for me is a rather trivial element -- men breaking up with us at holidays.

I had a BF years ago who went out on Christmas Eve for a few hours -- and didn't show up again until afternoon the next day. I had to go alone to a dinner while he slept.

My most recent partner of 15 years left 5 days before my birthday. I truly believe that it was a passive aggressive act, trashing my birthday, bec. he knew this was an important anniversary for me.

Why do men do this? Is it the stress of the holidays? Passive aggressive behavior (which is unconscious and unplanned, BTW) -- ruining the holiday --creating a negative anniversary that one can't ignore. Oh, yes, Bob left me 15 years on Xmas. One can't ignore the date, can one?

Or are they just selfish morons?

Let me qualify that. There are many sensitive, kind, loving, compassionate men. "They" refers to those who ruin holidays -- and would apply to females who do this, too.