I was really triggered last night too, Super....I wonder if instead of focusing on how long we go without doing it...focusing on how few times we do it, and the frequency being less...kinda of like smokers who cut back and use the nicotine patch, you know? Maybe that's a weird suggestion.

I don't know, maybe I'm just trying to justify and rationalize. I really really wanted to burn myself last night but I convinced myself I was too lazy to get up and go look for a lighter. Of course this morning I found one in my car, hah! I should remember to throw it away the next time I get in my car so I can't use it when I get triggered.

I know I'm at a little over 10 months now, but it was no easy road to get here. I relapsed many times before I made it even a month.The one thing that helped in the beginning of my "stopping" was that I put myself in a situation, visiting my mom, where I was around people all the time and I couldn't harm myself, I was too embarrassed to, if that makes sense.

Well, Super, don't worry, as they say, relapse is a part of recovery. Try to learn from it.

Seesaw