I'm 35 years old and so unhappy and feel trapped that I do not want to live. I have started seeing a pyschcaligest and I have been taking anti-depressants. The anti-depressants help with my anger but I am still unhappy. I have a 1 year old boy and a 2 year girl who mean the world to me
My mother died acouple years ago and my family accuses me of not including my parents enough once my daughter was born. There was huge tension and anger. We were then surprised with my son, and my parents reassured me they would be there to help out however they could. We'll my mom passed and my father has turned his back on me. I know it's not his responsibility but I could just use someone to lean on now and again. I've been self medicating for almost 2 decades by smoking weed. However my entire life I have been told I am a bad person, less of a person for smoking weed. I have never hurt anyone while high, or let it effect my at to day to day life. I am an accomplished electrician with a great job. I, and I mean I because my wife makes very little money, paid for the down payment for the house we live in, paid her 30 000 student loans off. So it's not like I smoke weed and lie on the couch all day. However now with the 2 kids, my desposable income has drastically shrunk. I want to start a small closet grow. I did it in the past and was very successful. However my wife, just like everyone else in my life says I am a bad person for smoking. I have NO support. Not my family, not even my wife. My pyschcaligest asked when I was last happy. I didn't have an answer. The other day it dawned on me though. I was happy when I was much younger. When I didn't care what people thought. I did what I wanted. I wasn't a bad kid. I just lived in the moment. I didn't constantly have people telling me how to live. Life is short and I want to live it how I want. However now I am financially stuck. If I get divorced I will be ruined. I will be separated from my kids. I will surely not want to live then. I feel so stuck and with each passing day it gets worse not better. I am so lost
