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Originally Posted by metalchick
I envision myself doing all of those things, but I just can't. I dream of a day when I will be happy again. I am really trying to get in shape and just be healthy. I think he is just such a bad part of my life now. He truly was my best friend until about 2 years ago. That is around the time that girl came around.
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It probably didn't start when she came around. Very unlikely she did something to change him. No, it was both of them responsible equally for the bad behavior and betrayal but above that, typically I have found that people that cheat have it in them already even before they do so. The opportunity for them just needs to present itself but to be honest, it's an issue with integrity and faithfulness and even absent of the opportunity to be unfaithful, the lack of integrity is already there.
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I think she brainwashed him. Is that even possible?
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Nope. Brainwashing, is a word that is used far too loosely nowadays. it requires that someone is put in such extreme situations mentally that it is enough to cause a change in thinking. Do you really think that someone that he slept with has that kind of psychological savvy and power?
Stop making excuses for the person that was unfaithful to you. it was, simply put, a choice he made. Regardless of the motivations or reasons, it is on HIM, not you, not the mistress, for what he did with regards to your relationship.
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Just he did a complete 360 and now I truly hate him. I hate how he treats me and I hate how good he is to everyone else. He has told everyone that I am crazy and he tells me that everyone hates me.
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I doubt it was a complete 360, more likely it was the way he has always been but once he realized (and you've kind of shown here) that you're not going to leave for any reason, all bets were off and he let his true colors show. He is a manipulator, it sounds like and someone that enjoys dominating and/or controlling his mate.
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They don't even know me. They ignore me if I am around, which is a rare occasion. I don't really have many people in my life. I really have no opportunity to really do anything with my life other than working and taking care of the kids. I am really so angry, hurt, and really I feel like I am going to have a mental breakdown.
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The mental breakdown could quite likely happen but... it's not as though there is no remedy. You really need to get free from this person become independent and find yourself. Stand on your own two feet without some dead weight (financially) dragging you down. You obviously have the capacity to care for yourself - you take care of many others in the process, so it's not like you're going to fail here.
I hope this helps, but essentially you need to find the courage to leave.