em.lyz, I am so sorry you find yourself in this difficult situation. It is so confusing and I bet your mind is taking you to all kinds of places. Wondering and suspecting all the time must be miserable.

We love someone because of most things, but in spite of some, so I understand how you still love him. Yet, you are no longer sure who "he" is. He says he feels guilty and he should.

You need to find out the truth. I fear that he likely has cheated on you when he is away on business when I put that with his inappropriate texts to co-workers and internet activity. He will likely continue to deny everything, maybe even to himself. Hope you find out the truth soon so you can make an informed decision. Maybe he should seek professional help, as he may possibly be a sex addict. Yes, that exists, and it is treatable.

I'm wishing you strength dear.

P.S. You are doing the right thing not speaking of this to those who know him. You have a true heart.