Hi Bummy,

Sounds like you are having a hard time. I'm trying to think about the situation from your guy's point of view.

I think that he has been hit down really badly and his pride is absolutely squashed. He is going to have to find himself again somehow, and he needs to do it on his own; my feeling is that it's no good helping him unless you can do it in a subtle way, but that's tricky.

I had something like your situation when I was ill and had to leave my teaching job. It took a long time and then I came back fighting. Now I'm a performance poet, and a good one.

My feeling is that your guy has to find his way back somehow and you have to believe he can do that. All you can say to him is - "do it your own way, whatever you come up with, I'll support you." That's how my wife was with me, and eventually I came up with the goods.

I hope you can weather this, as a family, and wish you well.

Good luck, Myzen,