hi phaeday...i completely understand how u feel. my best friend has sort of distanced herself since i recently got out of the phyciatric ward, because, as she will admit, she doesn't understand why i am so self destructive. she still communicates with me regularly, e-mail and phone, but she hasn't been around as much as she used to, and i really miss her. but she needs her space to feel whatever she is feeling about the way she saw me behave before i checked myself in and i have to be understand about it. it is hard tho, and i think about cutting again all the time. my husband has also been in the (regular) hospital for 5 days now so i am pretty lonely, but i think god is forcing me to learn how to function without being so dependent on others' presence. without them i am forced to look inside myself and try to find some reason to love me. i still have lots of support without them, but i want them, not all these other people. we can't always have what we want i guess so this is just the way it is right now. i am sure your friend still cares a great deal about you, she probably just maybe doesn't know what to say to u to help u stop hurting, and that in turn may cause her pain. thus it may be easier to deal with it by not dealing with it. do u understand what i am trying to say? i hope things get easier for u and i hope u can find some other way of release than hurting yourself. i am praying for u.......take care of yourself.