Samantha--
I know all about the double standard. I also know that it is hard for women in their late 30's to 40's to date men their own age because those men are all looking for younger women. So when we decide to date the younger men somehow that is not accepted. As for my relationship--my "friend" is out of town until Thanksgiving, I know that he will call the day he gets in. That is always what he does--and then I always agree to see him. I have heard from others that you have to acknowledge the problem before you can fix it. Well I know all to well the problem. I just can't seem to fix it. Believe it or not, I am not afraid of being alone. After 20 years of marriage it is rather nice. I have been out on other dates with men who want to continue to see me, but I am not interested. I also know that my friend and I will never make it, but for some reason we still try. There seems to be some connection that keeps us going. I also know that I need to break things off all together with him, but that is so hard because when I say I don't want to see him and I feel good about it as I did the last time, he calls, I don't answer, the e-mails, I don't answer, but then he shows up at my house unexpectantly. I have closed my garage door and turned off all the lights just so he thinks I'm not here and STILL he manages to worm his way back in. He was never abusive, or delibertly mean. He is a good person. A little inmature and he is a lousy communicator. I never know what he is thinking. When I ask he just hangs his head. I have been strong enough when he breaks up with me to tell him off--all things I didn't like and how he hurt me, he always says "your right" and I'm sorry" and he manages to wear me down. Like I said, I do know what to do--it is just so hard to actually do it.