Grade wise, I actually feel that the dynamic at this point is to appear not study seriously, let everyone know you do a lot of stuff parallel to your studies, appear lazy, and still somehow ace the class. You can't appear to be trying too hard.

There are always people that after every test claim it was ok, not too hard, and they say it in a tone as if they know you will agree. Maybe they wouldn't say this when I am there if they knew I had problems passing the classes. But if I was a student that had troubles, I would be anxious, feel they were being arrogant.
I know this girl that fails almost all classes. She almost dropped out. She always laments how hard it is. She was friends with a girl that did even worse, and that dropped out. The two would always be together. So now that the other girl is gone, she spends almost all time with this other girl. This other girl is apparently smarter than both of them, and just as lazy. But one passes the class, the other doesn't. They skip tutorial and optional classes together, most of the time.
It must be hard for her, to fail almost every class each period. She skips class maybe only because she picked the wrong friend. She may be lazy. I don't know how she studies when she is alone. Can't judge that.

I feel all this is quite light-hearted and not the main thing. Some of the smartest students hang out with some of the average lazy ones. Other people link up with those of similar academic interest/ability. Other people have it in their mind that you make friends only with people you don't study with.

80% of these people don't know what they are thinking, that's my guess.

As someone who has schizoid traits, has to be guarded about being too aloof/detached, I wonder what some people do after class. Like me, they leave immediately after studying. They go to their small room. They sit there. What do they do? I mean, I am a computer nerd. I have spend weeks without any personal contact and I only realize that is odd/strange looking back on it.

Some of these cool successful socially skilled young talented people, they must be lonely, I am sure.

It's just that I am 12 years older than most, though some don't know and guess me 8 years younger. When I think back at when I was 16, 17, 18, 19, a person 3 years older was like a generation older. When suddenly you are an adult and someone is 10 years older, that is huge. And I already feel distance. Maybe it's me. Maybe not.

Maybe I have Asperger or I am blind. But I see strange things. Two people seem to be friends. They sit next to each other and pick each other for lab work Then suddenly a week later, they no longer seem to be friends. Suddenly, a new group has formed.

Or even more obvious, this one guy always sits down with these two girls, both nice, one quite attractive, the other average. I got this feeling he may be interested in one of them. But then one day, some totally other girl from our common classes is his girlfriend. How did that happen? I mean, why sit down with these two girls for months, then hook up with some other girl you never had any connection with, apparently? In fact, that girl hung out all the time with these two guys. She didn't hook up with those two. And he didn't hook up with one of those two girls.

And it's not just me that's blind. I was not the last to notice. In fact, we have this guy in our classes who is homosexual. And he said he was 90% sure that the guy that hooked up in the previous example was gay or at least bisexual.

One other example. There is this guy who is kind of one of the seniors, if you ignore me, of our study. He talks with every stranger he meets, especially girls. He is the master of small talk.
From like day 1 he hangs out with this girl, who is always serious, has a no nonsense but intense attitude. Not extremely girl-like, but not odd. She is more mature and laid back than most chatty gossipy girls. I feel is almost similar to me, in that fellow students are colleges and not either friends or complete strangers. So he is very nice to her. They leave almost every class together. The spend lunch together. They talk a lot. And it's not just me. I have lunch with them sometimes, the 3 of us. So other students asked me if I know if he likes her or she likes him. I mean, one of them must be in love with the other. I think I know now, but I am not sure. No idea wtf is going on between them.

I know from experience that in 80% of the time, for straight people, male-female platonic bonding is problematic at best.
I mean, from the very start they both decided they wanted to hang out together for the next two years. It's a mystery to me why. I know she had a long term BF and the broke up, partly because she was in university town too much. And he is single and gets a new phone number from some girl every week. Though not quite sure he is a real womanizer. He may be too young to realize he can hook up with all these girls, or he is interested in shallow social interactions, but not shallow sexual ones. No idea.

Then, the girl the emotional part of my brain is interested in. She seems super-social and super-outgoing, but she is a loner in a way. She likes to sit alone in the back of the class. She talks a lot with like 2, 3, 4 people. Maybe you can include me. She doesn't talk to many people, doesn't initiate, but she does talk to me even when she knew I was 13 years her senior, and I must have appeared like the cold aloof arrogant schizoid that I may be.

She is only close with 1 other girl. She is one of the smartest, the other girl either one of the stupidest but probably one of the laziest/most uncommitted. She doesn't care. She prefers to do lab with with her.
I talked with the other girl during practical work and discussed their formula/math and she readily admits that her genius lab partner/girl I like did it all. Like some 20 year old girls, they can do experiments better than me while having small talk all the time. They talk about everything, while they make dilutions, don't mix up samples, realize practical shortcuts that I don't realize. And I get better grades.

In fact, how much you small talk during lab work may be one of the main considerations in picking your lab partner. I worked with this other guy who also seemed to have little tolerance for small talk. I mean, I can small talk, but when I am supposed to focus on an experiment, it doesn't even occur to me that it is awkward that I don't small talk. It actually took me months to realize people may be drawing conclusions about me when I don't engage in small talk with them during lab work.

So today we had a last test. It was hard and most people couldn't finish it in time. Crazy quantum mechanics/physical chemistry exam with confusing abstract stuff.
So the girl my emotional brain likes, she finished at the end as well. She skipped like 12 of the 16 classes of one of the hardest courses. Other students that attended all classes, have IQ 130, worked hard, they will fail. Yet she did that last time we had a similar quantum mechanics class, and passed. Quantum mechanics is hard, but she just skips it and figures everything out during the test, literally on the spot. I hoped to talk to her after the test. Not uncommon for us to talk after a test, if we somehow end it at a similar time. But she left and everyone else, most of them less social nerds compared to her, they stayed around to discuss the test outside the exam room. She was gone. Does she go to her room and just sit there? She can only travel to her hometown on Friday afternoons. She may have a lot of other friends, outside of our study. And the girl she hangs out with, she wasn't in that class because she failed so hard the previous ones.
So most other people were hanging out outside the exam hall, enjoying the weather and talking about drinking beer and about not having any exam stress.

The girl I am emotional interested in, I also never see her during lunch breaks. Some people just disappear during lunch breaks. Others hang around together. She isn't the only one that disappears. Many people do. Do they really go to their room to have lunch?
In fact, I have seen her a few times. She carries her plate up the stairs, like she has a meeting with some project or student association in some classroom.

The weather is nice now. But during winters, it is really cold. I really suspect many people are lonely, struggle with exam stress or anxiety. Basically only science nerds and high achievers are in my study programme, as it is pretty hardcore.

There's three other people that stand out to me in my 60 or so study mates.
One girl, she has the best grades. She has Asperger so clearly, it is scary, in a way. I think a lot of people avoid her because of that, but she may not realize it. She always answers every question the lecturer asks. She will answer 20 questions in a row, even when no one else chimes in.
I may have Asperger, but I don't really feel any connection with her either.

One other girl, she is always silent and always sits alone. It's like the girl you never notice, except that I notice everything. She never says something. Like she always tries not to be noticed. She never laughs or shows emotions or enthusiasm. She skips some classes, but she passes most. She is not the type that decides tot to befriend any colleges. She likely has no social life whatsoever.

One guy, he always sits alone in the hallway near the classroom. He listens to his ipod or uses his laptop. Sometimes, on the same floor on the opposite side, there is a group of our fellow students. Yet he sits there alone. He still has to learn how to hide his Asperger or schizoidism, I guess.

As a 32 year old who understands their feelings, maybe, I feel I should be able to reach out to them. But I can't. I am no master at small talk either. I can hang around and be normal with normal people. Not with people like these. These people may feel they have no problem yet, but I think I know they do have a problem, not being social enough. Our science program is very competitive. Their is not much room for scientists that aren't very social.

No idea if these ramblings offer any insight. I should have been adding names to make it clear who I was talking about, but I didn't. These are just my observations and feelings, as I wanted to write them down and you seemed to be interested in these kinds of dynamics.



You bring up an interesting point about study groups. I always imagined I would initiate and set up a study group. I never did. Even our study association talked about organizing a study group. I don't think there are many study groups. Pretty sure most people study alone. Maybe this is not common in our culture compared to others. Some people must meet to study sometimes. Especially during self-study week. I always leave for my home town. Many people do. But quite a few don't. I think, they may meet up. Otherwise, they just sit in their room for days and study? Or they hang out at their fraternity or hang around with their room mates? Not sure.