I have been on numerous medications including effexor and everyone has been the same thing. Continuous intrusive thoughts checked into the hospital once it didn't really help. Sometimes I hate my life so much I want instant relief but what is there? I don't know why when I feel so much anguish and why I feel that ending it all is even an option for me. I don't know where it comes from, a neurological imbalance or faulty thought patterns or both. The medications that supposedly work the best you have to jump through hoops to get on. Best of luck to all those who are also in this place don't give up hope, there is a lot of beauty I the world despite the ugly.