I have a voice in my head. It's not external at all, I don't hear it, it's kind of like my stream of consciousness in that sense, how you "hear" your thoughts. It isn't really me, though. It's separate from my thoughts and I can talk to it sometimes, if it feels like it. There's two of them actually-a female, older teen, maybe 16-17, who's bossy and rude. She talks faster than my thoughts and she's the one who gets more angry, she has the voice that takes over when she gets mad and I have to get her to calm down to return to rational reason, which sounds weird most likely. But sometimes she talks to me. And then the second one scares me more, it doesn't have a gender but the voice is deeper and it rarely comes up, it won't talk or reason with me. It just tells me to do things. For example, I run up the stairs-unless it says I can be accompanying with anyone else-and they say I have to, and if I don't reach the top out of site of anyone else also going up, they say I have to die. It commands me to do other things, threatens me. I thought this was normal anxiety things, but I've been doing more reading about it and now I'm thinking it isn't. Although, like I said, it's not that I hear them, it's like I think them. Does that make sense? I'm seeing my therapist tomorrow and I'll bring it up if I have time, although I only have an hour and there's a lot of school stuff I have to talk about, so I might not, but any thoughts?
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I have GAD, obsessive-compulsive tendencies, social anxiety, and frequent panic attacks.
I'm terrified of saying something wrong, and I will at some point, please forgive me.
Do not put off till tomorrow what can be done equally well the day after tomorrow. -Mark Twain
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