Quote:
Originally Posted by artemis-within
Thanks! But it wasn't a session, just a paperwork exchange (she wrote me up a receipt going back to January that I have to sign for some reason, and I filled out a form for her basically about my goals.) But I didn't end up going anyway, I got stuck on a call at work and texted her to tell her I couldn't make it til 15 minutes after the agreed upon time, and suddenly it didn't matter so much anymore seeing her today - it was weird, suddenly I felt completely freed from my recent crazy intense feelings - was already pretty much over them, but found in that moment that they're totally gone now - so I said we could just wait til my next session on the 14th and she agreed. I did of course have to make sure that we're ok (I wouldn't be me if I didn't) - because I've really been impossible lately and I know it - so I asked "We're ok, right? I promise I'm over my recent crazy intense stuff" and she said that yes, we are good. So I am settled again.
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Well, no matter. It still ended up okay! [emoji4]
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There are so many things wrong with me, and sometimes I believe there is more than what is diagnosed. I fear never healing, being left alone to crawl this heartless, cruel world. I hate myself so much, and sometimes, as much as I hate them, all I really want is a heartfelt hug. Will I ever make it through this thing called life? Or will I drown in the darkest depths of the ocean? Only time can tell. As for now, I just hide and I fear. This is, and will always be my life.
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