I just want to say I am going through this exact thing right now. The past two weeks, I"ve felt extremely ashamed of my need to e-mail my T during the week. We talked about it a bit on monday, and she reassured me I am not bothering her, and have nothing to be ashamed about.

Well, that didn't last...and last night I e-mailed her a long message, and today spent all morning regretting it. I was beating myself up for "giving in" and emailing her again so soon after a session, when it could wait. She e-mailed me back a response, and it was ok...except I read a subtext in it that she was COMPLETELY annoyed with me. She wanted me to stop self-medicating for my depression, and do healthier things (ie: stop bothering her!!)

I was on the verge of tears, and decided to try and be brave and directly asked her if she was upset at me at all. I told her that it would almost be a relief to hear she was sick of me, because I keep waiting and waiting for it. I told her I felt like I was about to throw up all over my phone, i was so anxious.

She wrote back that she wasn't upset at me at all, and it would be really gross if i threw up all over my phone haha.

It is HARD. My doubts aren't magically disappearing about this, because I still am convinced I am annoying. For right now, she seems ok with this constant reassurance.