Applekid, I will go in the same direction as Dont_Follow, you are EXTREMELY hard on yourself. Never think of yourself as nothing, if you were nothing, you wouldn't exist. To me, you sound like a great person but you have very low self-esteem and self-confidence.

I think you'd make a great video game level designer or a great anything that is creative and where you create stuff. You have the passion and the youth.

There are good reasons to be scared but never let fear stop you from getting what you want. It's normal to feel a little stress, it can bring out the best in you but not so much it keeps you from doing what you love.

For your friends, ask them. Tell them you feel down and want to know if they like you, any true friend will understand and answer yes.

Life and being healthy are the biggest gifts of life. Happiness is in the little things. Go run in a flowers field, let the wind caress your cheeks, smell the rich aroma of life, enjoy beauty in the beautiful colors that stand before our very eyes.

Having a boyfriend is REALLY important my dear, if you find a guy that will truly love you for who you are, will support you in the time of need and make you feel like you're on top of the world, trust me, you will understand the meaning of ''tears of joy''. I haven't had a girlfriend in a long time and I miss it. We all need love, that we like to admit it or not and you're at the age of innocent love too. When you'll be older, things get more complicated, you have more responsibilities and less time for things out of a fairy tale. Enjoy your innocence as much as possible, it's very important. As I said earlier, happiness is in the little things. When you'll find your chosen one, don't be afraid to show how you love him, don't be shy, I believe if everyone stopped being shy, it would be SO MUCH EASIER for people to get in a relationship. Live your love life the way YOU want to live it and live it fully. Have no regrets.

It's okay if your grades are horrible right now. You are in a bad place. Trust me, when you'll have made changes in your life, found some peace, found some equilibrium, your grades will improve. If you don't study much, I invite you to study a solid 1 to 2 hours a night. I know it's not as fun as leisures but it will make all the difference. Ask for help. Your teachers might not be the greatest teachers but they will always be willing to help you. Remember, they are paid for that. If they refuse to do their job, go talk with the principal. Don't be afraid to make yourself respected otherwise, others will walk on you.

You can get to college if you improve your grades, it's possible. Billions did it before you, why couldn't you? Talking with people is a question of practice. The more you'll talk with people, the more you'll feel confident and it's a vicious circle, a GOOD vicious circle but a vicious circle nonetheless. lol Billions got jobs before you, why couldn't you? What I'm trying to show you with these ''why couldn't you?'', is that there is always 2 sides of the medal. One of is much more positive than the other, remember it.

You like drawing, you like creating things, you see, you like doing things. I'm sure you like other things, you just don't know it yet. Try new sports, try new hobbies. Don't say you don't something before try it, no excuses and no exception!

You can't predict the future little apple, you're not an actuary and even actuary make mistakes. You might live to become a billionaire like Donald J. Trump, you don't know. Bill Gates was a dropout and he became the richest man on Earth.

Don't wait for things to happen by themselves, this is not how it works. Make things happen. People fear rejection and failures but these two things make you learn from your mistakes, make you become better. The most successful people of all-time failed hundreds and thousands of times, think Walt Disney and many others.

THAT, is ONE LONG POST! LOL I hope it will help you in your quest, take good care of yourself and I wish you all the best.

PS. Do talk to your school counselor, like justafriend306 said. There are social workers too, they can help you find the best resources available for you. Support lines are great when you feel down, don't be shy to call them. Also, feel free to PM if you want, it will be my pleasure to help you more.