There's so much going on and I don't like it that I don't feel much connected to you. I know it's 'in my head' and not the truth, but I don't know how to turn it around. I might email you again, soon. Not right now because I think you're on a holiday and you wouldn't be able to answer. I don't like that I don't know if you're away. I used to know these things, in my first round of therapy. Now I don't, since I don't see you as much. I'm rambling I think. I need to get my thoughts on paper first before taking any other actions.