Thank you budfox and awkwardlyyours...

Budfox, I really think my t is just scared that something physically is going to happen such as a heart attack. He died keep saying to not control it so much in regular sessions and that his concern is in guided imagery, but I am now afraid of he sees to much at other times that will be the same thing that happen with the guided imagery and so I am trying to control everything the best I can so I don't ruin what I have left.

Awkwardlyyours, you are right that I don't feel like I can let it go but I have always felt that was something I shouldn't do and I know that's one of my issues. He had encouraged me to stop controlling it so much since the beginning but when we did the guided imagery and he got scared I am sure that if I don't control it at other times it is going to med things up then also.
I do trust my t very much but I am uncertain if he could handle what geeks like a f5 tornado in me... I sure feel like if it comes out I might not be able to handle it without his help and if it freaks him out, we're up that creek without the paddle.

I don't know the answer but I hope the end is somehow good.

Thank you both for your thoughts