When you're sabotaging a relationship, do you think it's the depression that's doing this or do you think that you're just not into the relationship? I've found recently that I don't care what my husband does, whether he's mad at me about something, etc. The idea of divorce scares me because I don't want to be alone but I wonder if it would be different if I had other people in my life that I care for and who could be my support system. I'm just not quite sure if I should throw away 10+ years of work on crazy thoughts or if I'm just done. I never trust my gut or my thoughts or my heart because they have failed me many times before.