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Old May 05, 2016, 09:23 PM
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LonesomeTonight LonesomeTonight is online now
Always in This Twilight
 
Member Since: Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 22,044
Quote:
Originally Posted by lolagrace View Post
Lonesome, my husband and I went through a similar phase in our marriage where our sex life was a struggle. In our case it was very much due to my CSA issues. I shared that with my husband one-on-one and in a few joint sessions with our therapist, and it was helpful. It helped my husband who was struggling because he had interpreted the problem as somehow his fault or that I lacked affection for him which wasn't the case at all. In gaining better understanding of what I was experiencing, it opened up our communication with each other and actually led to me eventually being able to get beyond the problem which definitely improved our intimacy level. Talking about it together with our therapist was helpful because even though we had discussed it without the therapist, our therapist was able to clarify and add some insight that helped us both.
Thanks for sharing this, Lola. Mine is a different type of issue, but it helps to know that discussing it benefited your marriage. And what you said about how talking to your therapist helped H to understand it--that's what I'm thinking here. Because that's helped with other stuff, like my anxiety, depression, other things. I could tell H about it, but I'm not nearly as good as explaining it as a trained therapist. H likes and seems to trust our marriage counselor (and he knows about all the transference and stuff), so he's likely to listen to him.