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The good thing is that you are aware of what you are doing and can change. If you can keep reminding your self that the negative thoughts are interfering with your happiness and keeping to lonely you can succeed in changing them. It doesn't have to be this way forever although it might feel that way right now.
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Nammu
…Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …...
Desiderata Max Ehrmann
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