For me depression can make me lose interest in things I once liked. I find that the symptom doesn't just go with activities but relationships. I have felt in the past that I didn't care about my relationship. When I had a child those same thoughts creeped in about him and I really looked at how distorted they were. I would tell myself the hallmarks of depression like im worthless, bad father, not good enough and almost conviencing myself he would be better off without me in his life as I was destined to fail him. I often have to ask myself some basic questions to really put things into perspective.

In your shoes I would ask myself if there is anything he does or doesn't do that I need. Does he belittle me and make my life worse? Does he not show any amount of caring or love? Would my life be more dificult financially without the monetary partnership? Are these feelings of not caring a symptom of depression and possibly trying to fulfill a desire to withdraw?

Divorce is a big prospect and if you arent in the right mental place your point of view is likely dcewed towards the negative. Black and white thinking and cognitative distortions get me hung up a lot.

If there is something missing or a problem you are having with him then have you tried talking about it?

Being alone with depression is hard and can put me in a cycle where im stuck. I feel sad and depressed. I want to reach out but I had no one to talk to. Then I feel depressed because I feel emotionally alone and trying to manage this huge weight on my shoulders. Have you tried therapy or support groups? They can provide an outlet even if a small one. Is there any family memebrs, brothers, sister or friends you could lean on for support?