Quote:
Originally Posted by DarknessForever
My parents are fighting again. And my mom is once again not eating because of it. I'm so tired of this! You know what, my stomach hurts all the time when I eat, but I still eat! She's going to waste away. I wish he would just figure out if he wants to stay or not. I'd ask how much pain one person can cause a family, but I figured THAT out four years ago. When does it all stop? When does the pain stop? It's just so much...this is why I'm so scared to talk about my repressed emptions. If I start to feel again, I get hurt again. I'm just not sure it's worth it...[emoji24] I think I'd rather be numb. The hurt is worse that not loving or feeling love. It's not like I know what that is anyway. Sorry, couch. I'm rambling.
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(((Darkness)))
I'm sorry this is happening to you
Reading your post makes me so glad I got my kids out when I did.
My ex used to threaten me with divorce allll the time, but he never had any intention of leaving, he was just doing it to scare me. Like your mom I used to not eat as well. As to how much pain one person can cause. Yeah, I know exactly what you mean. It is SO HARD to get out, and the longer you stay the harder it gets.
Stay strong Darkness. It is worth feeling for all the good things and good people that are out there (when I first left I was floored by just how caring people were, and continue to be). Numb has its place when you're in a bad situation. I speak from experience when I say it's probably better to keep yourself under wraps at home. Letting anything out opens you up to attacks. I've seen my ex do it to my daughter... Do you have friends at school that you are safe expressing yourself with?
Please try to remember that your parents' problems are what's causing all of the hurt. None of it is your fault.
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