It's such a paradox to me. In the mornings I'm excited when I wake up that I'll be going to work and my projects that are awaiting, but then I get to work and my projects are a lot bigger mess than they should be (thanks to the people who were doing the job before me) and I have to do a lot of starting from scratch, which takes more concentration than I can give. Ug!

It doesn't help that I'm on deadline...but it's like I get to work and sit down and actually see the work that needs to be done and I just don't care. Don't care, don't care, don't care. Is it time to go home yet.

Then a co-worker comes in wanting to know my impression on something of hers she's working on and all I can think is don't care, don't care, don't care. I feel terrible that this don't care part of me is taking over. I like that in the mornings I am excited and happy to go to work but don't understand why once I'm faced with my work I start to fade so quickly.

Of course, it take all of my energy just to get up, shower, get dressed, do my hair and make up (I work in a very conservative office so I always have to wear a suit and wear make up).

I don't know, maybe it's just too much stress...I don't want to leave my job, I like it and I like the people I work with, and I just went back to work after 18 months on disability, plus they paid to move me up here for the job...I think i really just need the weekend off. Badly.

Seesaw