What an awful day. Waking up I was worried, in the mornig I was apathetic, in the afternoon I was desperate, in the evening I was sleepy, now I am exhausted. Durig the day I had to work, by the way, and not even the usual routine...

In these days children enter my shop (we also have stationery) to purchase school supplies... I look at them wondering how CRAZY it has been to give them birth. They'll soon have to face harsh reality, when PAIN is available in unlimited supply for everybody, until you age and die. That is my perspective right now, and I can't divert my attention for even a second. That must be depression taking, but HOW CONVINCING.

Some depressives sometimes say they feel like zombies. I wish I was a mindless being like them! On the contrary, I am HIGHLY sensitive to anguish and fear. The Ramones used to sing "I wanna be sedated".

I know it is only the sixth day of this episode, and people have endured way longer crises. But after being depressed all december and all june, plus about 2 weeks in february, I hope I would be allowed to live until Xmas at least. I'm frustrated.